Music and Building Relationships in the Early Years

Many songs are written about and inspired by relationships. From classical to pop, hiphip to RnB, first loves, unrequited loves, and ending loves dominate the lists. It is not clear whether this is because song-writers are more inspired by relationships or whether their audiences relate more to relationships. Ultimately, people prioritise relationships above many other activities, and will move schools, jobs and even countries to fulfil this need. Music is therefore a natural way to introduce and support the development of healthy relationships in the early years.

Song selection is an important aspect in modelling healthy relationships. While we often switch on the radio while working, absent-mindedly sing the last song we heard in the car, children are noticing and listening and copying what they see. Depending on their level of understanding, they may or may not know the meaning behind the lyrics at the time, and it should be remembered that often it comes back to them in later life. This is particularly important to note with songs that have dubious or negative origins.

One specific example is “Five Little Monkeys”, a song that has now been excluded in many early childhood music specialists repertoires. A quick google search will clarify the background of this song, particularly with regards to race, and this creates identity issues later in life for all once it is known – how do you enjoy the memory of singing a song that you now know was written to celebrate bad practices? In contrast, “Baa Baa Black Sheep” had nothing to do with race but rather immoral tax practices – so it is worth researching as often these histories are quick and easy to discover. “Lucy Locket” is one with questionable origins, so some music specialists have taken it out of their repertoire as it may have been about historical practices of well-known courtesans.

Another genre of potentially controversial music is spirituals, like “Michael Row The Boat Ashore”. For many with slave ancestors, spirituals are a direct reminder of the memories that still circulate within the family, making them more than just “songs”. Even more recent, Sting’s 80’s classic, “Every Breath You Take” is an instant reminder to those with histories of domestic abuse.

There is the argument that eliminating controversial music eliminates history. One example of a controversial songs that some have eliminated is “Jingle Bells”, yes, the popular Christmas carol. While the song writer was simply writing about the New England fad of jingling horses over snow, there is controversy over the lyrical content suggesting courtesans. However, the biggest controversy is that the song writer earned his wage by selling the song to a minstrel group, where it gained popularity. Singing it is a tricky decision – does it celebrate the song-writer’s winter observations of Christmas time, or does it reward a minstrel group for their behaviour? Because it is so nuanced, you could consult those families who may have been affected, and if it upsets and offends them, avoid it. Others argue that if it has the potential to offend, avoid it completely. Not an easy decision.

Thankfully, there are many more songs about relationships that have more straightforward origins, and these are the focus for this month.